Today I would like to express my deepest gratitude to all of you for the first time after four and half years since launching my official website.
Thank you for visiting here.
I am JUN USUBA.
Recently I feel something in me has woken up suddenly from sleep.
That is the reason why I am sending this message to you today after long silence.
It’s almost 20 years since I dove into this world of music.
I am filled with satisfaction that I have been playing saxophone in really a great circumstance.
At the same time, I am overwhelmed with strong gratitude toward all the people I’ve met until now.
In the past, I thought myself as a free and easy kind of guy.
But actually, I was not like that unexpectedly.
About two years ago, I found myself loosing control of my own body
I visited doctors again and again, but that condition of my body was getting worse and worse without identifying any particular cause.
Later, I learned I was suffering from “Panic Disorder” induced by stress.
This illness in which brain signal can not be sent correctly to the body, tortured me more harshly than I expected.
In my case it came up as depression.
Even in the medical world, “Panic Disorder” is still new and it has a lot of questions dissolved. But fortunately I met a doctor who knows well about analysis of this illness.
Asked by the doctor, ”Do you have any worries now?” I just thought, “Maybe, maybe not”.
But after a series of clinical examination, doctor told me “You probably have developed depression derived from Panic Disorder…”
I answered to the doctor, “I must be the last person who suffers from depression.”
Then doctor told me, “It’s typical that a depressed patient can not admit himself as depression. Take days off for 6 months or a year.”
I could not recognize the illness at first, but shortly after that I totally lost control of my body falling into complete depressive condition.
Due to the illness, I caused so much trouble to so many people and gave a heavy burden on my family. But thanks to all those people’s help, I succeeded in returning to the stage only after 2 months.
As a matter of fact, the doctor never allowed me to return to work at this point.
To nobody’s surprise, I have to reduce the amount of work without enough physical strength.
I have made steady efforts to lead an organized life in order to recover as soon as possible. After having many failures, from the beginning of this year, I finally started feeling that those efforts are bearing fruit.
At present, I am 37 years old.
I realize I am at the age of my mentors of when I was a teenager diving into the world of music knowing nothing. They taught me everything in a strict but warm and kind manner.
So, I decided to make my second debut, making a new start with talented young musicians.
I decided to live my life in my true colors throwing off my unbrave self.
“JUN USUBA & YOUNG RABBITS”
This is a group filled with own thoughts.
During 10 years career of “JUN USUBA JAZZ ROOTS”, I released 2 albums.
I always want to express myself in a straightforward way.
Sorry to be late to express my gratitude to all of you.
Thank you for so much your support.
April 8th, 2006